Anchor Mocked After Headline About How CNN Reporters “Survived” Election

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With millions of people out of work thanks to the pandemic, CNN’s Jake Tapper hit a sour note when he tweeted out an article from Esquire Magazine documenting an “Oral History of CNN’s Election Week.” The article itself was the stuff of silly trivia, but Tapper made matters worse when he gave the story his own custom headline, which highlighted how CNN reporters “survived” the grueling week of election coverage.

In the article itself, CNN reporters shared some of the hardships they faced while bringing election news to America.

“Tuesday night was devastating. The polling had been suggesting that there would be just a wipe out of Trump. And the fact that it wasn’t a wipe out was crushing,” CNN commentator Van Jones said.

In his own remarks to the outlet, Tapper said, “I went home Wednesday thinking that there was a chance that Donald Trump was going to be reelected. When I woke up and I looked at the numbers, I was like, oh, no, probably more like a 25 percent chance [Trump will win]; he probably won’t.”

If going through the uncertainty of the results (just like everyone else in the country) wasn’t enough to give you some sympathy for CNN’s beleaguered anchors, maybe their reliance on strong coffee will tug at your heartstrings.

“I was hoping somebody would go to Starbucks,” lamented Wolf Blitzer. “We do have an excellent coffee machine that makes Starbucks black coffee, and you put some milk in it with one Splenda, and it may not be a Venti Skim Latte, but it’s very good.”

Damn, they had to make do with homebrew? Will someone start a GoFundMe?

Both the article and Tapper’s makeshift “survival” headline drew mockery from observers on social media.

“It was just like Normandy,” deadpanned Jeremy Frankel.

“Ah yes, out of the trillions of CNN journalists who perished and died covering the 2020 American election, a few, miraculously survived an ordeal that presented literally zero risk to their lives and their health,” Daily Wire writer Harry Khachatrian mused.

“Stunning and Brave. Thank you for your service!” tweeted Jordan Schachtel.

What would the country do without Wolf Blitzer’s tireless willingness to forgo Starbucks? How can a grateful nation ever repay Jake Tapper for having to endure the horrific – to him – possibility that Trump might have been reelected?

Just a few of the questions we can ponder as we head into a Thanksgiving holiday where millions of Americans will not be able to see their beloved family members.

CNN: In touch with the public. As always.