Doctor: Male Hillary Supporters Might Have Low Testosterone
Could a hormonal dysfunction explain why some men think it’s a good idea to vote for Hillary Clinton? A doctor in Fort Myers thinks so. Dr. Dareld Morris, a hormone specialist at the Morris Medical and Weight Loss Center, is running commercials in Southwest Florida that encourage Hillary-supporting men to get their testosterone levels checked.
“Most are not aware of the effect low T can have on your mental state. For instance your ability to focus and think clearly,” Morris says in the radio ads. “As a community service, for any guys out there that are thinking of voting for Hillary, I want to offer you a free testosterone test. Let’s see if we can help.”
Dr. Morris admitted to an NBC affiliate that he “leans right” and that he is planning to vote for Donald Trump in November. However, he says he’s only being partially facetious in the commercials. He told reporters that he is genuinely curious to see if there is a significant correlation between T-levels and political preferences.
According to the NBC station, Democrats at a Clinton campaign office in Dunbar, FL did not find the ad very humorous.
“I honestly feel like he’s a pinhead for saying that,” Tedazia Vinders told the station. Another supporter – Yoseph Tedros of the Lee County Democratic Party – suggested that Trump was the one who needed a testosterone boost judging by his debate performance.
Besides being a clever way to get some publicity, is there any merit to Dr. Morris’s hypothesis? Well, let’s take a look at some of the symptoms of low testosterone.
Fatigue – Human beings tend to like people who reflect some aspect of themselves back at them. Hillary Clinton, unable to stand on her own two feet in mild summer temperatures, makes Jeb Bush look like 1980’s-era Robin Williams. The perfect choice for the exhausted man.
Erectile Dysfunction – Only one man ever got it up for Hillary, and even he struggled to do it more than once. By voting for Hillary, men with low testosterone can bring more people into the Society of the Flaccid; after four years of seeing this woman on television every day, none of us will be able to perform in the bedroom.
Osteoporosis – Men with low testosterone may eventually develop a soft spine – literally. That makes them perfectly susceptible to Democratic policies that cater to the weak and dependent and horrified by Republican policies that encourage self-sufficiency.
Brain Fog and Memory Problems – Once again, like attracts like.
Conclusion: If we can just get every Hillary-supporting man in the country to take a short cycle of steroids, we can have our victory.
Hey, it wouldn’t be the weirdest thing we’ve seen this year.