Lisa Page Comes Forward to Play the Latest Female Victim of Donald Trump

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Seeing how successfully the role turned out for Stormy Daniels, Marie Yovanovitch, Rosie O’Donnell, E. Jean Carroll, Megyn Kelly, and many others, former FBI lawyer Lisa Page stepped into the spotlight this week to become the latest woman to play the role of “Trump victim.”

Telling The Daily Beast that she could no longer remain silent after President Trump mimicked an “orgasm” when mocking her and her former lover, Peter Strzok, at an October rally, Page stitched together a tale of woe that would even make Christine Blasey Ford proud.

“I had stayed quiet for years hoping it would fade away, but instead it got worse,” Page told the Beast. “It had been so hard not to defend myself, to let people who hate me control the narrative. I decided to take my power back.”

Page’s “narrative,” of course, is that she traded a year’s worth of text messages with FBI lead investigator Peter Strzok, who was in charge of both the Clinton email case and the Trump/Russia collusion investigation. Over the course of those texts, Page and Strzok exchanged a number of messages that made clear their bias against then-candidate Donald Trump. That might have been forgivable were it not for certain messages – “He won’t [become president]”; “We have an insurance policy” – that drew questions as to whether Strzok’s biases were affecting his ability to run an impartial investigation.

Considering that there was more than enough evidence to charge Hillary Clinton with a crime (case quickly dismissed by James Comey) and none at all to do the same with Trump (case dragged out for nearly three years), you can’t blame Americans for being suspicious.

But all this time later, Page wants us to know that she’s as pure as the driven snow – just one more victim of a bullying commander-in-chief.

“I’m someone who’s always in my head anyway – so now otherwise normal interactions take on a different meaning,” Page said. “Like, when somebody makes eye contact with me on the Metro, I kind of wince, wondering if it’s because they recognize me, or are they just scanning the train like people do? It’s immediately a question of friend or foe? Or if I’m walking down the street or shopping and there’s somebody wearing Trump gear or a MAGA hat, I’ll walk the other way or try to put some distance between us because I’m not looking for conflict. Really, what I wanted most in this world is my life back.

“It’s like being punched in the gut,” she continued. “My heart drops to my stomach when I realize he has tweeted about me again. The president of the United States is calling me names to the entire world. He’s demeaning me and my career. It’s sickening.

“But it’s also very intimidating because he’s still the president of the United States,” she said. “And when the president accuses you of treason by name, despite the fact that I know there’s no fathomable way that I have committed any crime at all, let alone treason, he’s still somebody in a position to actually do something about that. To try to further destroy my life. It never goes away or stops, even when he’s not publicly attacking me.”

Well, maybe instead of mimicking an orgasm (??) at his next rally, President Trump will play the world’s smallest violin to soothe Lisa Page and her tortured heart. We’re sure there won’t be a dry eye in the house.