School Election Brings Racial Controversy

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In a month filled with evil Jack O’lanterns, cackling witches, and ghoulish fiends, a principal in San Francisco has done something that will really scare you. Following a student government election at Everett Middle School, principal Lena Van Haren decided to withhold the results because there were too many whites and asians voted into office.

Lena Van Haren. Even her name makes her sound like a Halloween villain.

Four days after the election, the dreaded Van Haren wrote an email to parents explaining why she felt it necessary to thwart the democratic process.

“This is complex, but as a parent and a principal, I truly believe it behooves us to be thoughtful about our next steps here so that we can have a diverse student council that is truly representative of all voices at Everett,” she wrote.

Later questioned about her decision to keep the results under wraps, Van Haren dispensed with the filler. “It’s not okay for a school that is really, really diverse to have the student representatives majority white,” she said, before scanning the sky for falling houses.

The students who participated in the election are calling shenanigans. 7th grader Sebastian Kaplan told a local news station that he felt disenchanted. “The organizers are saying things like, ‘we want everyone’s voice to be heard,’ but in truth, the voters’ voices are not being heard,” he said. “The whole school voted for those people, so it is not like people rigged the game, but in a way, now it is kinda being rigged.”

Kaplan wasn’t the only one upset. Parents responded negatively to Van Haren’s meddling, the media got involved, and even in liberal San Francisco, people largely came out against the dark queen. She subsequently released a statement acknowledging the backlash, though she did not admit to any mistakes in judgment. She did, however, announce the election results.

What the evil Van Haren plans to do next has the villagers nervous. Will she abide by the results? Will she create new student administration positions to force ethnic diversity? Will she release her flying monkeys? We do not know.

What we do know is that Democrats will be watching and learning. Is this possible yet? Can we nullify elections if they don’t accurately reflect the population at large?

Of course not. Not now. But what if it starts in schools? What if a generation of kids grow up knowing that election results are subject to change if the winners aren’t diverse enough? A number of these kids would reach adulthood and wonder why we don’t do something like that in our actual elections. An enterprising liberal writer or two would champion the cause. Academics would drum up some studies about why it should be done. It wouldn’t happen overnight, but do you really think it couldn’t happen?

Once again, liberals prove themselves scarier than the undead.