Trump’s Magic Turns Liberals Into Conservatives

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Donald Trump is a miracle worker.

If you find that blasphemous, feel free to use another term. Call him a magician, if you like, or an alchemist. Whatever you call it, Trump has tapped into some kind of wizardry, and Jose DelReal’s article in Tuesday’s Washington Post is a fine place to see that magic in action.

“For Donald Trump,” DelReal writes, “appealing to minority groups and women often amounts to an ‘us vs. them’ proposition – warning one group that it is being threatened or victimized by another, using exaggerated contrasts and a very broad brush.”

To prove that this strategy is doomed, DelReal quotes Crystal Woods-Brookes, whose authority is apparently either derived from her skin color (black), her activity at the time she was interviewed (folding laundry), or her location (a “few miles south of Trump’s Akron rally”), since this is the only information provided about her.

“Look, I just think a lot of his views are very ignorant,” Woods-Brookes said. “This is not our country, in his words. I believe that’s his whole purpose, to divide, to put us against each other, make one believe the other side is better.”

Now, maybe this doesn’t compare to raising Lazarus from the dead, but it’s still a sight to behold. After only a week of minority outreach, Donald Trump has successfully gotten America’s liberals to denounce the only strategy modern Democrats have ever used! All of a sudden, the Washington Post tells us, it is wrong to warn “one group that it is being threatened or victimized by another.” This is an astounding thing to read in a newspaper that has never breathed a word of criticism towards Black Lives Matter, the “war on women” campaign, or any other divisive social crusade. Truly, the end times must be drawing near.

Before the joy of holy witness drives you to sell all of your possessions, leave your family, and move into a small tent outside Trump Tower, we have to make sure this is really what it appears to be. You don’t want to be one of those fools running up and down the street, trying to convince your startled neighbors that Elvis materialized in your grilled cheese sandwich. We have to ask questions:

What is there’s a more mundane explanation?

What if this miracle is really just a clever illusion?

What if the magician isn’t Trump?

Sadly, these questions reveal the truth. No miracle has occurred. We’re just getting a somewhat shocking look at how liberals see the world, and it’s so detached from reality that our minds can’t immediately comprehend it. DelReal comes as close as any mainstream liberal has ever gotten to saying it outright:

“Broad brush” stereotypes can only be used by Democrats, and the only demographic fit for demonization is straight, white, Christian men.

And you, being of sound mind, think, No, that can’t possibly be what they mean, so you start looking for a less outrageous explanation.

But since the only other explanation requires invoking the supernatural, you have to face a depressing fact: You had it right the first time.