Trump’s Miracle: How He Incited a Riot That Was Already Planned

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With the publication of a new piece in the Washington Post, it seems that Americans must now believe what would, at first glance, seem to be two mutually exclusive facts.

In the first case, we must believe that President Donald Trump incited supporters at his “Save America” rally to put on a violent insurrection at the U.S. Capitol. To that end, Democrats have righteously impeached him for a second time, and the Senate must convict him in order to prevent him from ever holding public office again.

Okay.

But now we must also believe that the attacks at the Capitol were planned in advance of January 6th. To that end, we must crack down on social media platforms like Parler and other pro-Trump online havens, because these outlets are giving white supremacist terrorists space to plot and plan against the United States of America.

“Self-styled militia members from Virginia, Ohio and other states made plans to storm the U.S. Capitol days in advance of the Jan. 6 attack, and then communicated in real time as they breached the building on opposite sides and talked about hunting for lawmakers, according to court documents filed Tuesday,” reports the Washington Post.

“While authorities have charged more than 100 individuals in the riot, details in the new allegations against three U.S. military veterans offer a disturbing look at what they allegedly said to one another before, during and after the attack — statements that indicate a degree of preparation and determination to rush deep into the halls and tunnels of Congress to make ‘citizens’ arrests’ of elected officials,” the report continues.

Later in the article, the paper acknowledged: “The arrests this weekend of several people with alleged ties to far-right extremist groups, including the Oath Keepers, the Proud Boys and the Three Percenters, suggest that the riot was not an entirely impulsive outburst of violence but an event instigated or exploited by organized groups. Hours of video posted on social media and pored over by investigators have focused on individuals in military-style gear moving together.”

Hmm.

So, either Trump is innocent of having “incited” this attack on the Capitol or the feds have got it all wrong in their efforts to prove premeditation on the part of these militia members.

Or we have the third possibility: That Trump is an omniscient being who can perform miracles that defy science and the laws of space and time. He can do the impossible – incite an attack that was already planned in advance.

Of course, in a week where the Washington Post taught us that blacks and other minorities who support Trump are examples of “multiracial whiteness,” we guess it’s a little silly to demand internal consistency.

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