The New York Times hired a new “conservative” columnist a few months ago who made a big splash when he dared to question the political motivations behind the climate change movement. Well, he won’t lose any friends on the editorial board with his latest column, which aims to raise eyebrows with its misleading title: “Only Mass Deportation Can Save America.” Could Bret Stephens actually write such a column in the pro-immigration pages of the Gray Lady? No, of course not. Stephens is (satirically) calling for the mass deportation of lazy American citizens while insisting, Obama-style, that the United States “is a nation of immigrants.”
“In the matter of immigration, mark this conservative columnist down as strongly pro-deportation,” Stephens writes. “The United States has too many people who don’t work hard, don’t believe in God, don’t contribute much to society and don’t appreciate the greatness of the American system.
“They need to return whence they came.”
Stephens releases the trap early, perhaps fearing that kneejerk liberals were already cancelling their subscriptions.
“I speak of Americans whose families have been in this country for a few generations,” he writes, allowing his readers to finally breathe. “Complacent, entitled and often shockingly ignorant on basic points of American law and history, they are the stagnant pool in which our national prospects risk drowning.”
Right, that sounds more like the New York Times we know and love. An attack on America? Just the kind of “conservatism” we’ve come to expect from the mainstream media.
After uselessly comparing nonimmigrants to immigrants in a number of categories – and using the typical liberal trick of conflating illegal immigrants with legal immigrants at will – Stephens concludes that “so-called real Americans are screwing up America.”
“Maybe they should leave, so that we can replace them with new and better ones: newcomers who are more appreciative of what the United States has to offer, more ambitious for themselves and their children, and more willing to sacrifice for the future,” he muses. “In other words, just the kind of people we used to be — when ‘we’ had just come off the boat.”
What is the point of all of this? Well, it’s for Stephens to get around to his inevitable criticism of Donald Trump and his supporters, naturally.
“We do not usually find happiness by driving away those who would love us,” he says. “Businesses do not often prosper by firing their better employees and discouraging job applications. So how does America become great again by berating and evicting its most energetic, enterprising, law-abiding, job-creating, idea-generating, self-multiplying and God-fearing people?”
Perhaps Stephens is onto something. Maybe we should start deporting American citizens. And we can start with the legions of fake conservatives who would rather see the U.S. become a hodgepodge of meaningless multiculturalism than to actually enforce the border laws. They can start a new land – The Isle of NeverTrump – and let anyone and everyone through the gate.
Let us know how it turns out.
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