Weasel Michael Cohen Will Tell Dems Anything to Stay Out of Prison

Is anyone really taking Michael Cohen seriously anymore? It was a sad and pathetic sight to see President Trump’s former lawyer sitting before the House Judiciary Committee last month, reversing everything he told Congress only a couple of years before.

Was he bent out of shape that Trump didn’t offer him a pardon?

Was he resentful that Trump never gave him a job in the White House?

Who can explain why Cohen turned on Trump like the rat that he is…it doesn’t matter. What matters is that he has less than zero credibility, and if Elijah Cummings makes some deal to keep him out of prison in exchange for further “help,” he is as dumb as he looks.

According to Axios and other outlets, Cohen wrote to congressional Democrats last week. He asked them to help him delay his prison sentence. In return, Cohen promised that he had a ton of new stuff to share about the President. Apparently he didn’t think it was worth sharing that stuff the first time he was subpoenaed to testify before Congress. Nor the second. But now that his prison sentence looms before him, he has suddenly discovered a trove of documents, files, and information that he believes Democrats will find useful.

Cohen’s lawyers, including the despicable Clintonite Lanny Davis, say that Cohen recently regained access to the files the FBI confiscated when they raided his office in 2018. Those files include more than 14 million documents, say Cohen’s attorneys, and their client needs some time to peruse them. He cannot, of course, do this effectively if he is sitting in a federal prison cell. So instead of going to prison next month, you know…he just needs a bit of time. Just a bit, guys. C’mon, whaddya say?

“It is also our hope, again expressed with all respect, that the Southern District of New York recognizes the need for Mr. Cohen to be readily available to Congress and to prosecutors conducting these investigations, such that his date to report for incarceration about four weeks from now will be substantially postponed while he is fully cooperating with prosecutors and Congress,” the letter reads.

Perhaps his sentence will be postponed in accordance with the timeline of the Democrats’ investigation itself, i.e., for an indefinite, interminable length of time.

The House of Representatives does not have the power to commute, delay, or otherwise meddle with Cohen’s prison sentence, but we suppose they could lean on the judge and try to get the terms adjusted. We’re inclined to doubt they are quite that ignorant.

Then again, with Mueller’s report having exonerated the president, they are pretty desperate.

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